Little Shack of Horrors
by SuperGroverAway
Summary: What do you think do you were to find yourself in possession of a rare plant that required the blood of others in order to survive? To most it would be nothing short of a living nightmare, but to their Pines twins, their odd discovery is only yet another bizarre, if unusually disusting curveball thrown to them by life in the mystery-laden forests of Gravity Falls.
1. Chapter 1

As the titles implies, this work is very loosely based off the musical and film, Little Shop of Horrors. If you haven't seen either though, that's honestly no problem, and not at all a prerequisite in order to read this story. I hope you enjoy!

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Gravity Falls

* * *

"...The ball comes his way...he takes the swing, and..._BOOM_! Ohhhhh, and the crowd starts going wild!" The boy whooped after swinging the bat and sending the large beach ball flying halfway across the yard with a fierce strike.

Before it could hit the ground, Dipper's near-double wound up with her tennis racket and sent it soaring right back into the air with a mighty swing and a cheer. "Oh, but what's this? Mabel 'the Magnificent' Pines stuns the fans with another amazing save! Hear them cheer her name! Ma-bel! Ma-bel! Ma-bel!"

"We're not done here yet!" Her twin brother laughed as he made a mad dash to catch the descending ball, and yet again it went rocketing far above their heads.

"Yeah, we're only done when you get your butt beat!" Mabel giggled, blowing a wet raspberry at him before delivering another hefty whack to the battered ball.

The two continued on like so, hurling playful taunts back and forth as they battled it out in another intense round of Pine Ball, their sport of choice. The rules were quite straightforward; keep the ball up and off the ground, and if anyone failed to do this, then the other player earned a point. Considering, that whoever valiantly strove their way to one whole point was the winner, their matches could be quite the miniature epics, or at least that's how the sibling duo preferred to view it.

"What's going on now?" Dipper cupped a hand to his ear after another successful hit. "Now the crowd is rooting for 'Dashing' Dipper Pines! The tides are turning here at the stadium!"

"They're shouting for him, all right!" Mabel shot back. "The whole stadium is shouting, 'Dipper Smells Like Dog Doo! Dipper Smells Like Dog Doo!' They're repeating it over and over! Ladies and gentlemen, we might as well call it now, 'cuz it's clear who has no chance here today!"

She was so caught up in the innocent trash-talk that she almost forgot about the actual game, and let out a yelp as she just barely made a diving hit. Her twin wiped a bead of sweat from his brow and chuckled triumphantly before heading after the airborne ball.

"And Mabel fumbles! Is this a repeat of her crushing lose at the World Series of Last Week? Will her arrogance be her downfall again?" Dipper narrated loudly.

"Nuh-uh!" The girl's brown locks whipped about as she shook her head furiously. "More like a repeat of the Playoffs of Three Days Ago! And...here...she...goes! Hi-_YA_!"

With a mighty jump, she struck the falling ball with everything she had, sending it rocketing off towards the edge of the hulking redwoods that bordered the edge of the property. Dipper frantically raced off in hot pursuit.

"Easy hit! Easy hit! Easy hit!" he chanted, still putting up a front as best he could between ragged gasps for breath. "No problem! I got this! I got-_WAUGH_!"

He had barely charged five steps into the woods when his foot caught on something, and in a flash he was taking a rough spill. Hardly had he tumbled onto the forest floor when the ball came to a rest a mere two feet away, and almost immediately he could hear his sister's jubilant cries ringing loudly in his ears.

"_WOOOOOOOOO_! Yes! Yes! She's done it! Mabel Pines takes the championship yet again!" She whooped, pausing to hurl her racket high in the air in celebration. "Mabel wins! Mabel wins! She's taking home the-_yeeeek_!"

Mabel covered her head and squealed as she narrowly avoided being knocked on the head. Once she saw the she was fine though, she then gleefully continued the celebratory party of one, and broke out into a victory dance. "Mabel is a winner, Dipper's eating failure for dinner..."

"No fair!" Dipper gasped, spitting out a couple pine needles while he clambered back upright. "_Blech_! That wasn't fair!"

"Aw, yes fair!" Mabel beamed joyously from ear to ear as she ran over to him. "Hey, are you cream? Because you just got totally whipped!"

"No seriously, that wasn't fair. I almost had it, I just tripped over..." The boy trailed off as he took his first good look at the cause of his spill. He had been expecting a stone or a protrusive tree root, and to put it bluntly, the odd little plant he was gazing upon took him a bit by surprise.

"Ooooh, what's that?" Mabel chirped, prematurely ending her celebration to examine the curious flora specimen. It was a little under a foot tall, marked with a curious green color that almost bordered on blue. However, by far the most striking feature was its surprisingly large teardrop-shaped head, which was nearly the size of a naval orange. Considering that when all was said it done it resembled something taken whole from a rainforest, it looked strikingly out of place in in the dry towering woods of the Pacific northwest.

"Huh..._weird_." Dipper muttered as he got up and brushed himself off. His sister however meanwhile was quite intrigued by their sudden find.

"Awww, it looks sad." She remarked, giving the mildly droopy little thing a gentle poke. "Look how all droopy and saggy it is! Lookit you...you don't get a lot of sun out here with all the big guys stealing it from you, huh? Are they being greedy? Greedy for all the sunshine while you're out here all alone? Hmmm?"

After cooing playfully to it for a few moments, Mabel shot back to her feet and declared excitedly, "Let's take it back inside with us!"

"Mabel, it's just a weird plant. We're not taking it back just because you think it looks interesting." Dipper protested flatly, and to little avail. His twin was already tapping her chin as she become temporarily lost in thought.

"Hmmmm, no how are we gonna getcha inside the..." After glancing about, she laid eyes upon her brother's trademark cap. She then immediately snatched it off his head, taking care to add a sound effect as she did so. "NAB! 'Scuse me!"

"Mabel, what are you-_hey_!" Working quickly, his sister dug the edge of her racket into the ground. In a flash the improvised shovel had popped the plant and its shallow roots free, and without a second thought she scooped up the lot and dropped it deftly into the upturned hat.

"Ta-da! Do-it-yourself flower pot!" She announced happily before passing it into the hands of her now extremely chagrined brother. "I'll go get the ball and the rest of the equipment, okay?"

"You have _got_ to be kidding me." Dipper grumbled sourly, but nevertheless did as his hopelessly overenthusiastic twin asked. As they neared the gift shop, the two parted ways, and Mabel excitedly dashed off around to the back.

"You take it in, I'll go see if I can get a better container. I think I saw one out by the garbage cans. Seeya in a few minutes!" She jabbered before racing off. Her brother just sighed in reply before carrying the plant inside.

"Hey man! Good to see ya." A lanky redheaded teen greeted warmly from the counter as soon as she saw him enter. She hadn't even finished talking before Dipper's mood made a near-miraculously quick turnaround, leaping instantly from annoyance to that all too familiar combination of joy and anxiety.

"Hey Wendy!" He replied as a nervous grin speedily plastered itself onto his face. "Good to see you, I...uh...I didn't know you shift started yet-"

Before he had a chance to explain what he was up to, thankfully Wendy interrupted with a relieved sigh. "Yeah, that's why it's a nice thing that you showed up. Your uncle called me in earlier because he thought that we'd get more tourists than usual today. And he was right, we are totally _packed_ right now."

She made a dramatic sweeping motion with her arm, gesturing to the utter lack of life in the shop. Dipper chuckled before holding a hand up to his ear. "Wait, what? Can say that again? I can't hear you above the crowds!"

Glad to finally have some silly company, Wendy cupped her hands over her mouth and shouted, "I said that we're totally...wait, wait can you hold on a minute? I gotta take care of some customers! The line is stretching right out the door!"

"I can see that! I just hate it when the Invisible Convention is in town!" The boy joked, sending Wendy erupting into laughter and his own heart mildly aflutter.

"I know, these people are the worst! Ever tried making change for an invisible twenty?" she tittered, and the clamor of their mirth echoed throughout the shop, which thoroughly peeved the owner of the establishment to no small degree.

"Hey, hey! Cut it out!" Stan Pines grumbled from behind a shelf. "I thought I told you guys, it's the _Salmon-Fishing_ Convention that's in town this weekend. And they'll be here, just you wait."

"Yup, sure they will." Wendy replied, rolling her eyes, to which her boss only muttered something darkly under his breath while he continued taking inventory of the large array of varied and shoddy merchandise. The girl turned her attention back to her friend, and finally noticed the strange little plant tucked in his hat. "Hey, whatcha got there?"

"This? Oh, I...Mabel and I, we...found it just not outside right now, and...we didn't...have a..." He stammered, embarrassed. To his surprise though, his fears of looking absurd were entirely in vain, because as she took a closer look, Wendy's eyes definitely lightened up in genuine fascination.

"Cool!" She exclaimed softly while she examined its curious shape and unusually bright coloring.

"Wait, so...you like it?" Dipper asked, fast-deciding that perhaps this whole thing wasn't precisely the nuisance he originally mistook it for.

"Totally! I mean, I've lived here my whole life, and all we have here are monster-sized trees anywhere. This thing though...I don't think I've seen anything like it. Awesome find, dude!" She grinned approvingly and flashed a thumbs up.

"It...it _is_ pretty cool, isn't it?" He grimaced as his voice cracked uncontrollably. Between that and his pounding heart, as usual it was becoming increasingly difficult to retain a shred of control over his own body.

"Yeah!" She agreed wholeheartedly. "Hey Dip, I don't want to be a pain, but...well, if you guys are gonna keep it, can you leave it down here? I think that it kinda livens things up here a bit. "

"Sure! Yeah! Of course! You want it, you got it!" he blurted out uncontrollably, and immediately gave himself a mental kick in the rear for his excessively enthusiastic answer. But as he silently berated himself, Wendy was still preoccupied looking at the plant, and simply beamed happily once she heard his reply.

"Sweet! It can stay up here by the register. It'd definitely be better than sharing the counter with...well, this." Wendy made a face as she glanced over at the messy stack of paper cups and the heavy pot sitting nearby, alongside the roughly scrawled sign that read "FREE COFFEE."

"Wait, what's eatin' at you now? Aw c'mon, we just started that promotion yesterday." Stan griped grouchily from not too far away. .

"Oh, _no_." Dipper sighed as realization dawned. "Grunkle Stan, are you making that coffee the way that you like it? You know no one else drinks it like you do, right?"

"Hey, so what if it's made the day before! It's like wine, gets better with age." His uncle shot back, speaking as if it was nothing less than incontestable truth. "Those rubes will be thankin' me after they get a taste of what _real_ coffee tastes like."

"Real coffee? I didn't know we had a new word for poison." Dipper whispered slyly, and immediately Wendy buried her face in the crook of her arm to try and fend off another burst of mirth. As the boy felt a mild rush of light headedness, his sister finally returned, marching in with what looked like a dolled-up bottom half of a plastic milk jug proudly raised high in the air.

"Got it! Okay, so it wasn't an old flowerpot I saw near the trash. That's okay, nothing some scissors, ribbon and glitter can't fix!" she explained cheerily, placing her newest arts and crafts masterpiece next to the register before she began to make quick work of transferring the strange flora specimen.

"Wendy! We got a new batch of two-headed bobbleheads this morning." Stan announced as he kicked a cardboard box. "I need you to shelve these, stat."

Wendy passed the twins an apologetic look. "Sorry, be back in a sec. Coming!"

As she unenthusiastically sauntered off, Dipper's bright brown eyes followed her across the shop, as his heart still pumped faster than normal in his skinny chest. Meanwhile, Mabel was nothing but peppy business as she patted down the little plant securely in its new spot.

"...Aaaaand, done! Now we'll get you some water, and then we'll figure out what to call you! I already started a list for plant names. Because you're definitely a special lil' guy, arentcha?" Mabel gushed to the leafy little thing. "Dipper, you got any suggestions?"

"...Wendy." Dipper just murmured dreamily under his breath as he watched his crush at work.

"You want it named what?" His twin snickered. Immediately Dipper snapped back to reality, and once he grasped what happened, a wave of embarrassment struck him hard and fast with the force of a tiny tsunami.

"Uh, I mean...I...I was just...that wasn't a thing I said, I was only, uh..." As his frazzled mind failed to cook up even the flimsiest half-excuse, he switched tactics. "Wait, what's that? Yeah Wendy, I totally hear you calling for me! Help you? Over there? Sure, be there in a sec okay bye Mabel!"

Trying to hide his blush, her humiliated twin scampered off. Mabel just snickered however before adding his suggestion to the small notepad she had with her. Once the candidates were all assembled, she give them all a few seconds thought, before finally taking her feather-topped pen and scribbling a heavy circle around the winner.

"Not bad, actually, And 'Miss Greenyleaf' and 'Waddles Junior' were super weak choices anyway." She remarked softly to herself before looking down at the queer little plant and flashing it the fattest, warmest welcoming smile that she could conjure up through her near-limitless good cheer.

"Welcome to your new home, Wendy II!"

* * *

Nest chapter will be up in a day or so. In the meantime, reviews are most welcome!


	2. Chapter 2

"...A lot of times I don't know what's going to go on it when it's finished. I just pick a color or two, then I get to work." The preteen explained as she lounged up against the side of her bed, knitting away. "Like right now, all I know is that I want this sweater to be orange, but what else am I going to put on this? A dolphin? A funky watermelon doing the splits? It could be anything, even just a picture of another orange sweater! That's the really nice thing though, I still have lots of time to think about it."

Mabel happily prattled on, while her leafy audience of one just sat a foot away, never uttering so much as a peep in reply. With the way that Wendy II's oversized head bowed toward the girl, it almost seemed as if it was listening in rapt attention. Alas, such wasn't quite the case, and it was frankly making its self-appointed caretaker a little worried.

Only two days had passed, and the little plant simply was not faring very well in its new home. The droop and slight fade in its coloring was anything but subtle and only seemed to be getting a little worse, though not without a lack of effort on Mabel's part. She had watered it, moved it about to the sunniest windows in the whole shack depending on the time of day, yet despite all she had done to make sure that it always had an abundance of the basics, Wendy II seemed determined to slowly waste into nothing.

Such was why Mabel had brought it up to the bedroom for a bit of one-sided conversation. A few experts had said that plants responded well to talking, right? It was worth a shot then, especially since it gave her someone new to listen about her favorite hobby.

"It's always a little hard to get started, but once I get in the swing of things, you'd be surprised how fast I can make this go. Just give me a week with this, tops, and then I can begin...um...I can go and..."

Mabel trailed off after giving what was supposed to be a quick glance up at Wendy II. Unfortunately, that was all it took to see that, if anything, the sad little thing seemed to have somehow wilted slightly more since she brought it upstairs only fifteen minutes ago. Still knitting away, the girl allowed herself a weary sigh.

"I wish you could talk." She confessed, leaning closer towards it. "What do you need, anyway? You get all the nice planty stuff that you should want. Lots and lots of sun, all the water you can drink, but all you do is look sad. Why are you sad? What else do you need? Fertilizer? Is that it? Fresh fertilizer?

Mabel stuck out her tongue and shook her head defiantly. "Well _that's_ super gross, so you're going to have to pick something else. Are you too hot? Too cold? Are you getting too much water? What is it that you want?"

While she continued scolding her unresponsive plant like a frustrated parent, a needle slipped. Suddenly one of her fingers was afire with a sharp twang of agony. Automatically Mabel dropped her knitting with a loud yelp, and leapt to her feet.

"Ooooh! Pointy! Pointy! _Ow_! Pointy!" she squeaked through gritted teeth, while breaking out into a little dance of pain. Her injured hand flailed about, sending several tiny droplets of blood flying about the room. Most scattered to places where they were to never be seen again, but one happened to land directly on top of Wendy II's bulbous head.

Mabel of course paid this little head, at least until she heard the faint, but still audible slurp. Clutching at her minor wound, the startled girl crouched down and stared hard in disbelief at the little plant. It was only a matter of seconds before almost overwhelming curiosity got the best of her, and ever so carefully, she held her injured finger up above Wendy II, and with a deep breath, she pinched around the small cut and gingerly squeezed out another drop.

The instant the blood splattered onto it, it was immediately sucked out of sight between what she had assumed until this point were just two large petals who had yet to open in bloom. If that wasn't enough to throw her for a complete loop, it was the fact that the plant now seemed to be standing a little bit straighter. It was anything but a miraculous comeback, but she also couldn't deny the perceptible change.

Mabel glanced to the small cut on her finger, to the mildly revived plant, back to her finger, and continued as so until she nearly gave herself whiplash. This certainly was a game changer, and now came the challenge of figuring out how to process this. After wracking her brain furiously, she took a long deep breath.

"Okay...I can deal with this. I can deal with this." She assured herself. "Nothing too freaky, my plant just needs...uh..._special_ food..._that's_ all...um, yeah..."

* * *

Whistling as nonchalantly as she could, the twelve-year-old strode into the tiny gardening supply shop. Once she heard the bell on the door chime loudly, a young woman glanced up from the petunias she had been watering and waved welcomingly.

"Hi there! Give me just a minute, and I'll give you a hand with whatever you need, honey."

Mabel laughed confidently and returned the smile with the largest grin she could muster. "Aw, it's okay! All I need it a pint or two of your blood, Ma'am, and I'll be on my way!"

Not surprisingly, the florist wasn't very sure how in the world she was suppose to respond to such a request. At first, all she could do was stare at the friendly little girl and ask softly, "Uh...you need _what_, honey?"

"Oops! Sorry!" Mabel chuckled, slapping her forehead. "My bad. See, I didn't mean any of _your_ blood, I just need _plant_ blood. Nothing much, maybe just a small container or two of it, if that's okay."

"I...uh..." As the woman struggled to wrap her head around the outright bizarre demand, the preteen continuing smiling up at her as brightly and happily as could possibly be.

"...E-excuse me, sweetie? I...I'm sorry, but...well, plants don't actually have blood." She tried to explain as her voice trembled noticeably.

"Ooh, well I know _that_!" Mabel snorted around a fit of the giggles. "Sorry about the mix-up! I don't need blood _from_ a plant, I need blood for _my_ plant. Y'know, plant blood! So can I have some?"

Convinced she had provided all the necessary information, the little girl clasped her hands and looked up expectantly. The shop owner however now didn't utter so much as a peep as she stared back unblinkingly, not sure what to make of any of this.

Mabel waited patiently, like any polite customer would. However, when she realized that the dumbstruck woman had been silently watering the same azalea for over a full minute did her smile start to waver just a bit. Another minute later, the corners of her mouth had completely flipped into a full-blown anxious frown when the woman still continued to act like like nothing more than a horror-stricken wax statue.

"Um...I'm leaving now." The preteen announced, and with an apologetic grimace she slowly began to back up towards the door, accidentally knocking over several bags of potting soil on her way out.

"Oops! Sorry...sorry...I'm so sorry...sorry..." Mabel stammered out before she was back safely outside. Alas, the somewhat ungraceful exit had done her little good; one glance inside was all it took to confirm that the stunned shop owner was still just gawking unblinkingly, as if she had never encountered anything more horrifying than the sweater-clad twelve-year-old.

After silently mouthing one last apology, Mabel shot off down the street. Perhaps this was going to be just a teensy bit more difficult than she planned.


	3. Chapter 3

"…And here you go! You have a nice day now." The plump man bid a cheery adieu as he handed over a package of freshly sliced ham. "Next, please!"

Once she saw it was her turn, Mabel took a hard swallow before stepping before the deli counter. After the nasty bump in the road at the flower shop, she had decided that she would probably have better luck here. However, she was now also a little more cautious, as by this point it had become painfully clear that what she was hunting for was far from ordinary.

"Hi there!" She nevertheless put on her usual smile as she approached.

"Hello yourself! Now what can I can you, hun?" he leaned over and asked kindly.

"Oh, nothing much." Mabel replied, trying her best to sound casual as she rocked back on her heels. "Just here to see if you have a little bit of...um...blood."

"Eh? What's that?" he pried, cocking an ear. "I don't think I heard you."

"A-animal blood." She clarified, but still spoke no louder while her confidence quickly started to falter.

"Say that again, sweetie? Sorry, I didn't get you that time." The old fellow asked again.

"...Animal blood." She answered, this time even a little softer than before. This was fast turning into an extremely uncomfortable repeat.

"Say that one more time, I still can't hear you." He replied, patiently as ever.

"_Animal blood_!" Mabel involuntarily shouted. Instantly realizing what just happened, she clapped her hands tightly over her mouth and began to glance around the small grocery store to see if she had attracted any embarrassing attention. The man behind the counter took one good long look at her before he erupted into warm laughter, much to her total surprise.

"_Ohhhh_! Well why didn't you say so?" He chuckled with a wink. "Of course we have that!"

"…You do?" She asked half-hopefully, half-bewilderedly.

"You bet!" He affirmed before hustling off "And to think this whole time I thought you were saying 'animal mud', and I just kept thinking to myself, 'Well we don't carry that here.' Haha! No harm though. Now if you'll just give me a tick more, I'll...ah, here you go!"

Never breaking the stream of pleasant chatter for a moment, he zipped into a back fridge with surprising speed, and before Mabel knew it, she was suddenly gazing at a spectacle like none other. There before her sat a plastic tub filled nearly to overflowing with tightly sealed plastic gallon bags, each one filled with unmistakable bright scarlet contents.

"Take your pick, hun!" He offered. "We got pig, cow, chicken, turkey, some deer, and a couple other odds and ends, if that's what you're looking for.

"Um…." Mabel continuing gawking wordlessly at the array of bags, which looked for all the world like a collection of nightmarish water balloons. After quickly canceling out the choice of pig for obvious personal reasons, she looked up and finally asked politely, "Cow's blood, maybe? Please?"

"Sure thing!" Humming merrily to himself, the old fellow reached into his eerie assortment, and with a triumphant grin he fished out a package and gently passed it into the preteen's hands. "Good choice! Here you go, kiddo."

"Thank you!" Now that her miniature quest had come to an unexpectedly quick and easy end, Mabel broke out into a fat smile of relief. "So how much do I owe you?"

"Owe? Wait, you think you need to _pay_ for that?" He asked, appearing genuinely confused by the question.

"Well…yeah!" she chirped in reply. The man's plump belly quaked as he burst out chuckling uncontrollably. Instinctively Mabel started chiming in with her own giggling. This chorus of mirth however proved to be short-lived once it hit her that this wasn't exactly quite as funny as much as it was inexplicably creepy, to put it lightly.

As the old man continued chortling enough to burst a get, the somewhat subdued girl flashed one more smile before fleeing down the aisle. Once she was sure that she was a safe distance away, Mabel reached into her back and took out a small notepad and a sparkly feather-tipped pen.

"For...plant 'stuff'...go...here..." she murmured as she wrote the words, followed by the name and address of the store. She then glanced back, only to meet the gaze of the peculiar fellow who just flashed an unnervingly toothy smile. Hastily she averted her gaze as she added another note.

"Reminder...guy who works there...might...be..." Mabel paused and nibbled her lip as she thought hard. "Darn it, I can never remember how to spell 'psycho'..."

* * *

"I'm hoo-oome!" she announced in a singsong fashion as she trotted back into the attic bedroom. "And look what I got! Who wants a drink? I bet a special someone here does!"

After taking care to shut and lock the door behind her, Mabel trotted over to where Wendy II sat in the middle of the floor, still looking a little better after its light snack from earlier, but definitely in need of more nourishment. Clucking like a concerned mother, Mabel shook her head as she reached into her pack and pulled out the sack of cow blood.

"See? All for you, so you can get nice and healthy and strong! Now I don't know how much you need, so we'll just be careful and give you only a little more-"

In a flash, her good luck for the day seemed to run out. Her maternal spiel was interrupted by the rattling of the doorknob, followed by confused muttering. "What the...Mabel, are you in there?"

"I, uh...wait, it'll be just a sec!" The panicked girl called out before she began to try to hastily open the bag. She was determined to finish her parental duties and in no mood to delay her plant's much-needed feeding for any long. Unfortunately, to her surprise and frustration, the package was sealed up surprisingly tightly, and simply didn't seem to be in the mood to budge open.

"Mabel? Everything okay?" Dipper called curiously out from the hallway.

"Yeah, just…uh, hold on, I need to…." Mabel growled as she continued to fumble furiously with the bag, to still no avail.

"What's going on in there? Mabel? Hey!" Her twin shouted as he started knocking on the door. "C'mon, just let me in for a sec-"

"Dipper, I _said_ hold on! I only have to….grhh…oh you dumb ol'..." Losing her patience, she suddenly seized a knitting needle and raised it high. She was opening this up, come hell or high water, and if she had to cut this open, then so be-

* * *

A curious wet pop, followed by a shrill squeal quickly set the preteen boy outside right on edge. Without thinking, Dipper drew back, lowered his shoulder, and with a might burst of effort he sent the old door rocketing open.

"Mabel, what is going oooaaaaaaaaAAAAAAUGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!"

Dipper of course had little option but to let out a horrified scream the instant he walked in and beheld the gruesome sight that lay waiting. With splashes of blood covering her face and sweater, his twin sister looked like she had just attempted to talk a stroll through a slaughterhouse. After nearly straining his vocal cords, he spent the few moments standing almost completely paralyzed with utter horror.

Mabel likewise remained frozen in place and silent as a stone, though it was more due to disgusted shock than anything else. Unblinkingly she stared back wide-eyed at her appalled twin as she slowly tried to wrap her head around the literal mess she had just gotten herself into. A few moment moments silently ticked by, but to both the twins it felt like an awkward eternity before Dipper recovered enough to demand hoarsely "_What are you **DOING** in here_?!"

As the viscous crimson dripped down her utterly soaked face, Mabel mustered up the closest thing she could get to a reassuring smile, and tried to answer as sweetly as she possibly could, "...Oh, nothin' much."

"What? What? What?" Her brother stuttered in raging disbelief. "H-how can you say that? Mabel, just look at yourself! I see _blood_! Blood! Blood on the floor! Blood in your hair! Blood on your arms! Blood on your hands! Blood on your face! Bl-"

His panicked ranting was interrupted by a massive dry heave that hacked its way out of his throat. While thanking his lucky stars that he hadn't eaten lunch yet, the boy bent over and gagged loudly, and by this point it it had become obvious to his sister that laughably flimsy white lies wouldn't get her anywhere.

"No, it's okay! It's okay!" She attempted to reassure him. "Dipper, don't freak!

"And give me _one_ good reason why I shouldn't!" Her near-hysterical twin snapped back.

Mabel attempted to plant on another comforting smile. "It's okay, it's not _my_ blood!"

Suffice to say, this did woefully little to calm her panicked twin, who was still so stunned his eyes seemed just about ready to bulge clean out of his skull. "Oh, it's not your blood? Really? Guess what? That doesn't make me feel any better! Mabel, whose is it? Why is it everywhere? Will you please tell me just what is going on?"

"I...I just...uh...I was..." As her brother bore into her with his frantic, bug-eyed stare, it all proved to be too much to handle. Left with no good options, her confession suddenly began gushing out like water from a bursting dam.

"I was trying to take care of Wendy II but she was only getting worse and worse but then I poked myself and the blood got on it but it liked it and then I learned that's what it likes, so I just wanted to get the right stuff so it would stop dying on me!" After breathlessly getting it all out, the frazzled girl bent over to gulp in a badly needed breath of fresh air.

"...The plant…the plant likes _what_?" Dipper muttered incredulously, his arms dangling limply at his sides as he strove like mad to wrap his head around this revelation.

"See, this is why I didn't wanna tell you immediately, and…I-I didn't know what else to do, it was just looking so hungry and sick and nasty and sad, and…and...please, just don't tell anyone else for now, okay? Please? Please, Dipper?" Hopelessly caught up in the moment, it wasn't until she finished her impassioned plea before she realized that she had grabbed her brother by the shoulders and tugged him close, drawing him into all-too-close contact with her gore-coated body.

The second agonizingly awkward blanketed the room as Dipper just stood there in his sister's grasp, wincing as he felt the cold, crimson horror trickle onto the skin of his exposed arms. Yet even though his head was now spinning a bit, at least he had enough wits left to realize that as long as he and his sister continued going ballistic at one another like this, then they wouldn't be able to process one smidegon of this new situation anytime soon. After taking a few long, deep breaths, he began speaking somewhat calmly to his twin for the first time since he had entered the room.

. "Okay…okay…okay, look, how about...how about we take fifteen minutes, and clean up first? I know we have some stuff we need to talk about, but right now we both look like murder victims, and it's a pretty gross."

Mabel noted how absurdly macabre they looked, and it wasn't long she was managing a few weak but genuine giggles. As the tension in the room took a plunge, her brother likewise started chuckling, and their weary laughter was soon filling the room.

Only after a few seconds though, Dipper's chortling came to an abrupt end as he stared into her eyes and admitted dead-seriously, "Honestly though, please let go. I'm screaming so hard on the inside right now, you have no idea."


	4. Chapter 4

"...So I'm only give it a little bit…okay, now watch...you watching? Dipper, watch!"

Once they had cleaned up and no longer resembled massacre victims, it was hight time for the most curious demonstration. Crouching around the plant, Dipper watch intently as his sister took the sleeve of a blood-splatted sweater and wrung it out slowly. Several crimson droplets quickly spilled free, and Wendy II clearly and hungrily drank up each and every one almost the moment they fell.

"See? See? That's why this happened. _See_?" Mabel waved the gory garment in her twin's face. "See? Dipper, look at it! Look! Look at what it did!"

"_Ackpth_! I get it! I get it!" He yelped in revulsion, and motioned wildly for to stop waving the bloody sweater at him. "I get it, and…"

"And?" she repeated excitedly, curious to hear this thoughts.

"….This...is disturbing." Dipper declared flatly, much to his sister's severe chagrin.

"C'monnnn, why is it so bad?" Mabel objected. "I'm not saying that it _isn't_ weird, but lots of different people eat different weird stuff! How come _this_ has to be creepy, but it's okay when _you_ do something like put maple syrup on top of your mac n'cheese? Like, _all_ over it? Huh?"

"Okay, two things. One, it's not weird, it's an acquired taste, and for your information I like how the sweetness accentuates the cheesiness of my macaroni." He crossed his arms and answered snippily. "And two, I'm not drinking the blood of others in order to say alive!"

"So what? It's not like I had to steal it from anybody! I told you, I got it at the store. No one needs to get hurt, Wendy II gets fed, everyone's happy!" Despite her impassioned arguments, her brother was still clearly far from convinced, to her aggravation. When this line of reasoning clearly wasn't getting anywhere, she switched tactics. "Is it that different from one of those Venus flyeater dealies?"

"Yes." Her twined fired back without a moment's pause. "There's actually a pretty _big_ difference between eating bugs and drinking blood like a vampire."

"But...but that doesn't automatically make it evil or anything." Mabel stubbornly held out. "It just eats differently from other plants! I bet if a cow could have a word with you about all the burgers you've had, they'd have some pretty nasty stuff to say."

At this point in the debate it had become massively clear to Dipper that neither on of them wanted to back down anytime soon, and for the moment this was getting them completely nowhere. The boy motioned for her to wait before he marched over to his bed.

"Okay, instead of arguing like this, about about we see what the authority on local weirdness has to say, all right?" He hadn't even finished speaking before he had fished his book of secrets out from behind his pillow. "Hmmm...okay now…here we go, 'plants' section, show me what you got!"

His bright brown eyes became tiny twin blurs as he intently scanned page after page, hunting hard for anything relevant to their peculiar situation. Mabel waited patiently at first, but the minutes continued to tick by, all without so much as a peep from her brother. Getting fidgety, she clambered to her feet and snuck a peek over his shoulder as she pried, "So... you found anything yet?"

"Actually...no." Dipper was genuinely flummoxed as he shut it tight. "Nothing at all."

Having hit a dead end, the two wracked their brains for a few silent seconds before Mabel theorized thoughtfully, "So...if not even mystery-author guy knew anything about it…then does that mean it's because it's just that rare? Rare for even here?"

"...Maybe, actually." Her brother was forced to accept her extremely reasonable assertion. Mabel's eyes immediately went wide as she gazed down pityingly upon Wendy II.

"Awww, then that means….you're all by yourself! Poor little Wendy II!" she cooed sympathetically before she took her bloodstained sweater and wrapped it around it around the plant's base. "All alone, and no other family! No brothers or sisters or anyone, it was probably just you all alone in the woods all by yourself, hmmm? It's okay, Mabel's here! She'll take care of you."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Dipper waved his arms in protested as his sister shamelessly doted. "Okay, who said that we're still keeping it?"

"Well who died and made you king of everything? I keep telling you, it's not bad, it just needs some special food…'cuz you're a _special_ plant." Mabel cooed adoringly before glancing back up at her brother. "Why are you up in Wendy II's business like this? It would be like if I tried to kick you out of the house whenever you ate your mac n'syrup."

"You've brought that up already!" He hurled his arms in the air and snapped back defensively. "Oh, c'mon!"

"I know, but you had it for dinner last night, and if anything is super gross, then that is!" Mabel's face scrunched up in revulsion at the recent memory of the culinary atrocity. "You put so _much_ of it on top. Gross! _Grossssssssss_!"

At this point, Dipper didn't know what to do except bury his face in his hands with a long, frustrated groan, as his obstinate twin started to plead.

"Dipper, please? Can we pleeeease keep it? We might be all that Wendy II has. Wendy II's not hurting anyone, all it takes is a little eensy teensy weensy more work to keep it fed, and…and...and...oooh! And it looks nice, too! See? See Dipper? It helps brighten up any room! That's why Wendy likes having it downstairs with her, right?"

The instant she uttered the magic word, it was like firing a cannonball into a wall made of balsa wood. Before Dipper knew it, his resistance was crumbing fast as his mind was suddenly inundated with images of his crush fawning happily over the healthy green addition to her workplace. As his heartbeat picked up the pace a bit, the boy cleared his throat as he struggled to keep his puppy love from consuming him on the spot.

"Well..." He pulled down the brim of his hat in a feeble attempt to hide the faint scarlet glow in his cheeks. "Okay, I-I guess we can discuss this a _little_ bit more..."

* * *

"...So is it just me, or is that guy at the deli completely out of his mind?" Dipper asked as the two walked back into the shack, laden with fresh sacks of nourishment for their special charge. "Like, weirder than normally Gravity Falls-weird?"

"_Thank you_!" Mabel gasped in relief. "I know, right? Total creepy-vibes, like off-the-charts!"

"Right. I mean, he seems like a nice guy, but...okay, why is he giving it all away for free? And just why does he have so _much_ of it anyway? Are _that_ many people coming in for-"

His train of unanswered questions ground to a halt when Mabel stopped dead in her tracks with a squeak of disgust. "Dipper, I think that….oh, _ewww_."

"What? What are...arrgh!" The boy groaned as he looked down and spotted the fast growing crimson blotch on his vest. "Really?"

"I think your bag sprung a leak." Mabel pointed out the revolting obvious, and promptly cracked out a frustrated frown. "That's not fair! Why do your bags get to open a lot easier than mine?"

"I didn't ask for this!" he griped miserably while checking the inner pocket where he had stowed away a bag of chicken blood. "Seriously, how many times am I going to have to wash this today?"

"Kids? Is that you?" In a flash, their luck took yet another rapidly bad turn. He hadn't even finished calling for them, when Stan suddenly strode into the hallway. Understandably the startled twins could do little at first besides freeze like a pair of deer in headlights.

"There you are! I've been looking for you two all afternoon. Listen, I need one of you to clean up...uuggh." He grimaced ass he spotted the ugly stain his nephew was now sporting. "Kid, what the _heck_ were you eating? It almost looks like you spilled-"

As his great uncle straightened his glasses and crouched down to get a better look, Dipper didn't give his brain so much as a moment. Without even thinking, he fired off in a hoarse sputter, "Uh...nothing! It's nothing, just...um...I got a cut earlier! A really big one, too!"

"Yeah, a cut! A cut I gave him! For being a jerk!" Mabel added, the words tumbling nervously from her lips at a mile a minute. She then even went as far as to make jabbing motions towards her equally frantic brother. "Stab, stab! Take _that_! Stab!"

A horrific silence descended upon the assembled Pines. Stan gawked blankly at the children, while they themselves passed horrified glances to one another. Although neither of the severely panic-stricken twins uttered a single word they still managed to quietly acknowledge together that when all was said and done, that had _not_ been their best performance.

Wordlessly, their great uncle side stepped around the, and with wrinkled calloused hands he began to herd them none too gently into the living room.

"Grunkle Stan? W-what're you doing?" Mabel managed to squeak anxiously. She clutched her bag close before sending up a barrage of prayers heavenward that he wouldn't check it. However, the visibly concerned old man didn't say a single word to either until her had guided them in front of the television, turned it on, and flipped through the channels until her found a sufficiently brain-draining program.

"Okay...less messing around with those crazy imaginations or whatever, and a little more mindless TV for a while. Got it?" he commanded before going on his way, convinced that he had done hit duty. Had he paid a mite more, perhaps he would have noticed the curiously heavy sighs of relief the two let out. However, he was far too busy awarding himself with a round of sincere self-congratulation for making all well again as far as he knew.

"Stan...you got this uncle thing down _so_ well it's not even funny."


	5. Chapter 5

Thanks so much for the reviews, folks! The encouragement is a huge help!

* * *

Dipper didn't always despise sweeping as much as he did right now. Normally, it was no more of a hassle to him than most basic chores, like washing windows or cleaning out the refrigerator. However, cleaning up after hours at the Mystery Shack wasn't exactly like tidying up back at home. That was all thanks to some of the tourists that they drew, whose habits ranged from somewhat unpleasant to outright disgusting

"Oh, seriously?" The boy let out a groan as he came across the third half-eaten sandwich of the evening, which like the others had not only been carelessly discarded, but also accidentally stepped on and reduced to a barely recognizable mess.

Shaking his head, he herded the mess towards the ever-growing heap in the middle of the floor, which nearly resembled a partially eaten picnic at this point. Maybe one of these days they'd get a crowd where everyone had enough sense not to leave their leftovers on the floor, but unfortunately, today was not that magical day.

"Feed me." The hungry whimper suddenly sounded out from across the room. Dipper only chuckled as he wrestled several wrappers out from underneath a souvenir-laden shelf.

"I know, that's probably what they say at the diner before they head on over here."

"_Feed_ me!" Came the pitiful whine again."Feed meeeeee."

"I know, I know. But…okay, to be fair, I don't care how much they eat, it's just…look, these people _do_ realize that we have garbage cans, right?" The boy replied casually.

"Feed meeeeee…."

"Okay, I'll be honest, I don't really get where you're going with this joke-" Dipper went dead silent when realization not only dawned on him, but it slammed him with the force of a runaway freight train. Someone else had been definitely been just talking to him, yet unless his eyes were playing tricks, as far as he could tell there didn't seem to be a single other soul in the room.

"...Uh….hello?" He murmured curiously. "Mabel?"

No response. Growing more wary with each passing second, the boy began to wield the broom like a bit of an improvised weapon as he backed up towards the counter.

"Anyone else here?" He cautiously asked again. "Hello? Who is that?"

"...Feed me, Dipper." Came the whispered plea just inches from his ear. Automatically a cry that was several pitches higher than he would have liked ripped from his throat, and Dipper nearly leapt from from his skin as he whirled around to finally meet the mysterious speaker.

"...Feed me?" Wendy II asked hopefully and quite plainly. The preteen of course didn't reply immediately. Not surprisingly, the fact that the plant's "petals" were moving like the upper and lower jaws of a mouth and forming clear speech knocked him completely for a loop, and it was a full minute before he could find the ability to answer.

"...You...y-you...you can...c-can...you can _talk_." He murmured incredulously, his voice uncontrollably cracking all the while. "Y-you can _talk_. _You_ can...you can talk."

The simultaneously amazed and horrified boy probably would've just carried had not the plant nodded and interrupted with yet another plea. "Of course I can! So now are you going to feed me?"

"I-I...I just..."

"Feeeeed me!" It spread its leaves wide and begged. "Feeeed me!"

For a few moments the boy could only continue to stare in amazement until he began to gather his wits back about him. Once he got rolling with this process, it was only a matter of seconds before he had recovered almost completely from the initial shock. Yes, the plant he and his sister had discovered a few days earlier was now _speaking_ directly to him. However, when all was said and done, should he really be so shocked? In light of their summer so far, if anything he probably should have seen this coming from miles away.

"Gnomes...time travel...mind-switching rugs...ghosts...killer wax statues..." He shut his eyes and murmured softly as he reminded himself of everything else he had the misfortune of encountering over the past several weeks. After finally convincing himself that this was neither the worst nor most bizarre thing that had ever happened to him, he took a deep breath and accepted fate's newest curveball.

"Great. Just great." He threw his hands up in the air and grumbled resignedly. "Well, I guess _you're_ a thing now, so…"

""So feed me?" Wendy II cocked its head and asked, practically bursting with intense hope and need.

"Feed you _now_?" Dipper was honestly puzzled by the incessant request. "I thought Mabel took care of that already."

"She did!" It immediately affirmed before begging shamelessly," But I'm hungry again! Feed me, please!"

"But-"

"I'm _stuck_ here. I can't go and get more food myself! Dipper, _please_! Feed me!" It explained piteously

"Um…" Dipper now found himself in bind of sorts. It was horribly disturbing enough that a plant with a blood-only diet was now begging him for even more of the stuff. Unfortunately, to make things trickier, its "special food" was currently sitting stashed away in the kitchen, where his family was currently getting dinner together. Now while Mabel wouldn't mind in the slightest, his great uncle would definitely have a few things to say were he to stroll in and fish a bag of animal blood from the refrigerator. "Look, I…think you have to wait a bit-"

"But I don't think I can. I'm hungry! Hungry! Hungry! _Hungry_!" It moaned miserably. The preteen couldn't help but note for what was probably a one-of-a-kind wonder in a forest full of unbelievable rarities and mysteries, it definitely was slightly on the whiny side.

"Calm down! Hey…shhhhh, hey…." He awkwardly stroked its head, unsure of how else to comfort the supposedly famished creature. "It's okay…it's okay, buddy, you'll be fine-"

"No I won't!" it retorted flatly. "I'm hungry! I'm so hungry, I….I'm _starving_!"

"No, you're _not_ starving." Dipper tried to sound firm, but to be frank he had no idea if he was going about this right. Just how was one supposed to act towards a famished blood-hungry plant-beast anyways?

"Need to eat…_now_…" It practically sobbed into the increasingly unsettled boy's shoulder.

"Okay, so maybe you are a little hungry." Dipper relented." But I think you'll be okay if you just-"

"I won't until I get more food!" It cried.

"Look, I'm sorry but I can't." The boy tried to explain. "Look, you have any idea what my uncle's going to do-"

"But if I don't eat I might starve to death!" It groaned before its entire body flopped dramatically onto the top of the counter.

"Wait! Just _wait_ a bit." Dipper pled desperately. "Can I just go get Ma-"

"I don't want to wait. _You_ like me, don't you?" It whimpered, gazing up at the boy, or at least Dipper thought it was trying to do; it was honestly hard to tell considering its lack of eyes. Nevertheless, he found himself hopefully trapped on the spot.

Dipper tugged at this shirt collar and nervously cleared his throat "Uh…I-"

"I thought you did! Your sister likes me. And your friend likes me. Your friend with my name!"

"….Okay, now why is _everyone_ playing that card lately?" He managed to sigh in despair before he found himself quickly thrown in the midst of yet another hopelessly one-sided battle. It was his brain versus his heart once again, and as usual the former didn't stand the slightest chance.

It wasn't all that long until his common sense soon lost control as Dipper's mind began to race anxiously. Part of him still wanted to believe that the hungry little thing was merely putting on a show for the sake of a snack. However, he now found himself facing fast-growing doubt over his initial assumption What if it was really starving? Then what would Wendy think if she arrived tomorrow morning and finding one of the few highlights of work lying in a wasted, dead mess? Then what?

His stomach started to tighten, and soon it felt like someone was tying digestive system into a giant knot. Would Wendy be all right if worse came to worse? She always was so cool and calm about everything. But just that morning she had actually complimented him. A compliment, for him. The already treasured memory immediately flashed in his mind.

_"Hey Dip, thanks again for keeping it here."_

_"Really?"_

_"Yeah! It's nicer than those creepy jar-brains, or whatever. It's looking pretty healthy too. Ha, didn't know you had a thing for plants."_

_"I…uh…well, I don't normally-"_

_"Nah, don't worry! I think it's cool."_

Cool. _She_ said he was cool. His heart skipped a beat as he replayed the conversation several times in a row. So what would happen if Wendy II died on his watch, and if the teenager lost her newest workplace perk? Would she be upset? Would it spell the end of their friendship? Would it demolish any chance of anything more?

The preteen's mind immediately started pumping into overdrive as he began cooking up possibility after unpleasant possibility, each one logically less likely than the last, but in his rising panic they quickly became almost inevitabilities unless he did something now. The entire plunge into the emotional storm had happened in less than a minute, but by the time Wendy II had let out another pleading whine, he had practically convinced himself that the plant's namesake would be emotionally devastated if he let it so much as wilt a smidgeon.

"Feed meeee…." The plant moaned, its head sagging. Dipper gazed upon the pathetic sight, and absentmindedly glanced down at his hands as he wracked his brain. Suddenly, it hit him. Was it the ideal solution? Absolutely not, but at the moment he was pretty desperate, and horrifically low on options.

"All right, I…I think I can get you something…" He tried to sound calm, but couldn't hid the tremor in his voice as he began searching the room for anything sharp. "But it's gonna be just enough to hold you over until tomorrow, okay?"

* * *

"...And then I said, 'Officer, you're the one who's been speeding! Speeding towards Jerkville, population _you_!' Haha!" Stan had to pause midway through his tale to let out another round of hearty chuckles. "So of course Officer Schmuckhead didn't care too much for that. Now folks, will tell you it might be strange to keep a bag of sand in your car, but when you need to catch someone off guard, then there's nothing better than a handful of..."

As he hunched over the stove, Mabel whined uneasily as she sat at the kitchen table, with Waddles perched upon her lap. "Grunkle Stan, I'm not sure if I like this story."

"Sure ya do!" Her great uncle casually brushed her protests aside as he continued. "Anyways, now you think with cataracts like mine, I shouldn't really be doing ninety on the local roads. But who's gonna stop me? Well it wasn't _that_ guy! He did a pretty good job of keeping up, at least until..."

As he went on with his tale of law-flaunting and misadventure, his niece tried to distract herself by thinking new arts and crafts projects to work on.

However, just as she thought she had come up with a new good use for dried pasta, glue, pine cones and string, her thoughts were abruptly scattered when what looked like a least frightening ghost abruptly stumbled into the doorway. Due to the fact that his skins was now several shades paler than normal, it took a full second before the startled preteen recognized her very own twin brother as he staggered weakly over to the table.

"…Dipper?" Mabel asked curiously as she watched him just barely clamber up into his chair. He didn't seem to hear her at all, despite the fact that she was sitting no less than a foot away. Instead, he just stared wordlessly at his fingers, which she noted were now covered with an absurdly copious number of fresh Band-Aids.

"Too much...th-that was definitely a little too much..." He reprimanded himself in a trembling whisper, much to his sister's skyrocketing mystification. Between that and her uncle's age-inappropriate stories, this was fast turning into one of her least favorite dinners in recent memory.

"Dipper? Dip? Brother? Dipper?" Mabel persisted, waving a hand in front of his glazed eyes. When that failed to get a response, she reached for her spoon and resorted to a miniature bombardment of poking.

"Dipper! Dipperrrr! Hello? Earth to Dippingsauce!" She chanted in a singsong manner as she relentlessly prodded him in the cheek. "Ding-dong! Anybody home? Ding-dong!"

"Yikes, _now_ what's your deal, kiddo?" Stan exclaimed curiously as he set down a fresh pot of chili. "I know you still got a ways to work up some muscle, but a little bit of sweepin' up shouldn't leave you this beat."

Still gazing at his numerous bandages, Dipper just muttered something almost incomprehensible about going overboard before he let his head droop onto the table.

"Eeesh! Not to worry though, I got just what you need for a boost." Grinning with near-uncharacteristic excitement, he hustled off to the counter, and in short time dashed back with a steaming mug in hand.

"G-Grunkle Stan?" The boy gasped curiously. "What's..."

The instant the unpleasant smell began to violently assail their nostrils, it became all too frightfully clear. Mabel couldn't help but retch once she recognized the nearly pitch-black liquid.

"Grunkle Stan, that's not your super gross coffee, is it?" she asked before hurling a sweater sleeve over her face. Having caught a strong whiff, Waddles meanwhile let out a squeal before tearing out of Mabel's lap and dashing like mad from the kitchen.

Temporarily robbed of all energy, Dipper could do little more than struggle feebly as the infamous drink drew closer. "No! No, it's okay! Wait, hold on, I-I think I'm getting bett-"

"You'll thank me after you get a shot of the good stuff. Now c'mon kid, bottoms up!" Before his nephew could utter another peep more, Stan grabbed his nose, lifted, and unceremoniously emptied the mug's contents down the boy's throat.

It was as if bitterness incarnate had just attacked him from the inside out. A moment later Dipper shot upright in his seat, eyes tearing up rapidly as several uncontrollable gags ripped from him in quick succession, followed by a round of violent coughing.

"E-evil!" He managed to squeak hoarsely. "Tastes like evil!"

As he grabbed the edge of the table and trembled violently, his great uncle was nothing but smiles. While the boy's review was less than glowing, the results pleased him to no end, and gloated proudly as he shuffled off to the sink. "Told you kids, ain't nothing like your Grunkle Stan's coffee! Now that's a man's drink!"

After almost hacking up a lung, Dipper slumped back into his seat with a groan. Overflowing with both concern and intense curiosity, his sister gave him one more somewhat ungentle poke. "Dipper? How was it?"

He groaned wearily. Although a significant degree of color had returned to him, the minor trauma from the foul beverage had really only helped him go from resembling a ghost to looking like a shell-shock victim. "It's...it's...worse…i-it's worse...it's somehow _worse_ than we thought. _Bleccch_!"

He thought for a moment, then after failing to come up with anything close with a good way to segue into his bizarre news he added bluntly, "Also, Wendy II knows how to talk now."

After gasping his out, his sister only smiled toothily before leaning over in her chair to give him a quick one-armed hug. Although he really hadn't been expecting any specific reaction, he was still confused by her response.

"...What…what are you doing?" Dipper gasped in disbelief. "Talking plant? The one we're been taking care of? Don't you have _anything_ to say about it?"

She just shrugged calmly. "We'll get to that when we get to it. For now I'm just glad you survived Grunkle Stan's death-brew."


	6. Chapter 6

"...Um...so, Wendy II, Mabel. Mabel, Wendy II." Dipper awkwardly made the introduction. The plant waved its leafy appendages as it attempted to pronounce her name aloud for what sounded like the very first time as it slowly sounded out each syllable.

"May-bel. Mabel." Wendy murmured carefully to itself before curling its lips into a smile. "Mabel!"

Nearly bursting with excitement, the preteen girl threw up her hands and let out a gleeful squeal before sprinting over to it as fast as her legs could possibly carry her.

"C'mere and give your Mabel a hug!" Without further ado she hurled her arms around its head and gave it a warm squeeze. To her delight, Wendy II began to emit a noise that sounded oddly like a low purr of sorts before it licked her cheek affectionately.

"It tickles!" Mabel laughed in unbridled while her brother stood back, profoundly disturbed what he was seeing.

"It...it has a _tongue_." He observed aloud, eyes going wide. "It...it has a...okay, why does the _plant_ have a _tongue_?"

"Oh c'mon, it's nothing!" His sister slapped the air and brushed aside his revulsion with casual ease. "Twoey's just being a lil' bit affectionate, that's all. Aren't you? Aren't you! Uh-huh, you are! Yes you are!"

"…..Twoey?" Dipper repeated inquisitively as she lavished it with an avalanche of pure adoration.

"Uh-huh. Wendy II, so it's a Twoey! Get it? Who's a Twoey? _You're_ a Twoey! _Twoey_! Two-ey! Ooey gooey kablooie Twoey! Twoey!" Mabel cooed before lovingly prodding the top of the plant's head. "Boop!"

"So we're nicknaming it now?" Her brother asked as "Twoey's" tongue snaked out for another friendly lick, which sent an uncontrollably shudder work its way through his system.

"Why not?" She chuckled, not put off in the very slightest by the newest development. "Look at it! It's like having another family member now! Of course Twoey gets its own nickname."

"Nickname! Nickname! One of you!" The plant cheered happily before going back to its purring. Mabel immediately let out another shrill cry of joy and gave it another tender squeeze. Her brother remained standing off to the side, but of course it didn't take long until she realized that he still wasn't participating what she felt was nothing more than a warm and fuzzy, of not a tad unusual, moment.

"What's wrong? Don't you wanna come and have a Twoey-hug? It's great!" She encouraged as she practically dripped with even more unchecked enthusiasm as usual. "It's like hugging a fresh salad!"

"Uh..." Dipper scratched the back of his neck. "So you're just totally fine with this? No problems at all?"

"Yup! Now the shack is just even better!" The eternal optimist chirped happily. "So what's up with you? I thought you were fine with this too."

"I was when it was just a blood-drinking plant. But now that it can do that and talk, well…" He furrowed his brow as he took a good hard look at it. "I dunno, it's just gotten weirder in a way that I just don't...wait, and is it just me, or has it gotten bigger in the last day or two? Like, a _lot_ bigger?"

Dipper had a point. What had started out as a relatively stunted little thing now stood tall and happy at almost five five feet. Mabel looked over "Twoey", ruminated on this for a moment, and then replied thoughtfully, "It's just healthier because we're feeding it right! Bigger is better when you're a plant!"

"Oh…yeah, I guess I could see that." He admitted surprisingly calmly, and even cracked a trace of a smile. His sister beamed back happily. The fact that they currently weren't locked in another argument over the matter was just about thrilling her to absolutely no end.

"You're being _super_ cool with this!" She congratulated him heartily, and it was the absolute truth. He wasn't raining down questions about every little thing, nor was he being his normal overly skeptical self, or anything out of the usual.

It was once she realized this that she felt the first faint twinge of concern. "Wait…are you okay?"

"Me? I'm fine." He managed a laugh. "This isn't normal, but what is for us? Haha….also I don't know how much this is me talking, or the heavy blood loss."

At this point that she noticed that he not only seemed a bit wobbly on his feet at the moment, even while just standing, but now carried something of a glazed look lingering in his eyes. It also didn't make her feel any better when he stared vacantly at her and asked dead seriously, "Has…has your hair always been that shade of purple, or is that new?"

She instinctively grabbed a handful of her thick locks and tugged it into view, just to be sure. Once she saw that they were as chocolate brown as the day she was born, she turned to give Wendy II one more gentle pat.

"_You_ stay here and stay awesome. And you...uh..."

After a bit of awkward maneuvering, she managed to sling one of his arms over her shoulders and had turned herself into an improvised support system as she guided him from the room, though not without flapping one of his limp hands towards the plant in farewell.

"Buh-bye! Now for you, brother...okay, it's nice you helped, but I think we gotta make a no-being-anyone's-dinner rule…"

* * *

"Feed me! Feed meeee!" The shrill shout rang out faintly from downstairs, shattering the night calm. Mabel let out a groan as she attempted to block out the whiny racket with her pillow. When the constant begging wouldn't let up though, she finally cracked a lid open and rolled over with a fatigued whimper,

"….Dipper?"

"Yeah, I've been hearing it too." Her brother sat up and began trying to rub the sleep from his bleary eyes as yet another piteous cry assailed their ears.

"Feed meeee!"

"Can you please tell me that I'm still dreaming?" Mabel begged drowsily.

Dipper took just one quick glance at the time to give himself a heaping serving of dismay to serve up alongside his exhaustion. "Nuh-uh. Not until you tell _me_ that I'm having a nightmare."

"Feed me! Feeeeeed meeeeeee!" The crying continued unchecked.

"Do you think Grunkle Stan can hear it?" Mabel asked curiously as she clambered from her bed, clutching her stuffed tiger close.

"I hope n-" Before her brother could answer, the question was abruptly answered by a gravelly roar.

"_KIDS_! For crying out loud, will one of you take care of that? I think the pig needs to be let out, or...or somethin'!"

Seconds later, their great uncle's familiar lusty snores were echoing about the second floor, signaling that he had fallen back into his customary deep slumber Unfortunately, while he had gone silent once again, the same couldn't be said of the piteous dirge of Wendy II's famished cries.

"Feed me! Feed meeeeee!"

"Well, c'mon." Dipper moaned as he shuffled out of the room, with his sister stumbling along behind him. Semiconscious, the pair sleepily trudged downstairs into the gift shop, and upon entering their hungry charge immediately perked up.

"You're here!" Wendy II trembled excitedly with a smile as it drew itself up to full height. However, this joy was short-lived, and a moment later it had reverted to sounding like a broken record of the world's worst song. "Feed me, please! Feed me!"

"Shhhh, shhhhhhh. Hush." Mabel sleepily struggled to raise a hand to stroke its "chin" as she began to try and tocalm her charge. "Shhhhhhhhh. Hush a bit for your Mabel, okay?"

"Hungry! Hungry!" It replied only marginally quieter and gave her an impatient nudge to her shoulder. "Feed me, Mabel! Feed me!"

"Can't it wait?" The girl beseeched around a gaping yawn. "You ate just a couple of hours ago."

"And now I'm hungry _again_." The plant clarified, then it took a leaf and pointed impatiently into its open mouth. "Feed me!"

"Well don't look at _me_." Dipper snapped defiantly as he hid his still-bandaged hands behind his back.

"Yeah, this...this feels like a lot. What if you have too much? You might get a stomachache…." Mabel promptly interrupted her sleepy reproof to take a good long look at the creatures' thin stalk of a body. "Or….um...a root ache?"

"Long story short, you shouldn't need to get fed again so soon." Her brother stated flatly, to zero avail.

"All I know is that I'm hungry!" The plant doubled down and repeated stubbornly, twisting about in protest. "And I can't go get food for myself. Please, feed me! Feed me! Feeeeed me!"

It was almost like talking with a fussy toddler. The moment it had realized it was running into a mere modicum of resistance from the dozy twins, it began to raise a pathetic stink, and if it had eyes then there was a good chance that they'd probably have tears trickling from them at this point. Despite the dramatic display, the weary preteens were unmoved.

"Um...look could you excuse us for a sec?" Dipper asked, before motioning for his sister to follow. She needed no second bidding, and a few moments later they were out of sight and discussing in hushed tones.

"Wendy II isn't as fun anymore. At least not this late." Mabel complained sourly, wincing as another cry rang out.

"Hurry! I'm starving in here!" Wendy II groaned.

"That's an understatement." Dipper muttered. His eyelids currently felt like twin weights, and it was taking an awful lot of work just to keep them half-raised. "Okay, so we have a big crying plant-whatever that doesn't want us to get rest anytime soon. What do you say if we...Mabel? Mabel?"

In the span of a few moments, she had apparently propped sandwiched her stuffed toy between her head and the wall, and now the improvised cushion was all it took to get her to start drifting away back into slumber again.

"Whop...I-I just made a pillow..." Mabel murmured dozily.

"Hey, no! _No_!" Dipper snapped his fingers aggressively. "You're _not_ leaving me to deal with this alone! Hey! Hey!"

"Gahh! I'm awake! I'm awake!" She snapped upright with a start, but just a moment later a heavy yawn escape her, after which she couldn't help but mutter apologetically, "Sorry...I don't think I'm really awake."

"That makes two of us." Now it was Dipper's turn to flinched as the umpteenth famished moan drifted in from the other room. "Any idea how Twoey's hungry already? It ate twice today, and trust me on this, its second meal was a big one. Why is it...what's wrong?"

"Um…" If there was anywhere Mabel could use definite improvement, it was her ability to keep a secret. As she began to fidget uncontrollably with her tiger, she averted her gaze and started to confess. "Actually...it's more like…we only enough blood left for...just _one_ more day."

Dipper gawked in disbelief. This was plainly not what he wanted to hear. "Mabel..._please_ don't tell me you fed it again."

"Okay, I won't." She replied meekly, and there really was no need. By now her body language was already oozing with immense guilt.

"Oh, gimme a break here." He buried his face in his hands and pled wearily. "I don't-"

"Twoey kept begging me!" She explained unhappily. "I know I wasn't supposed to-"

"We _can'_t just go give it another whole bag just whenever! You know we can't keep that many hidden in the fridge at all." Dipper gravely reminded.

"I know, I _know_." She whined, the perfect picture of regret. "I know I wasn't supposed to…but Twoey kept asking and asking me, and...well, it said please."

He sighed and gave his remorseful twin a comforting pat. Scolding would do zero good to a person who had literally nothing but the absolute best of intentions in mind. Still though, this was not how he wanted to pass the middle of the night, and he slumped drowsily against the wall.

"So, what are we going to do? Just give Wendy II what's left, and hope that we can pick up more blood tomorrow before it...I dunno, dies or eats someone?"

Mabel couldn't help but pass up a chance to try to lighten the dour atmosphere. "As long as it didn't eat their wallet, I don't think Grunkle Stan would mind that much."

Maybe it was because by this point they were now essentially drunk withe exhaustion, but before Dipper knew it, he was welling up with weary laughter.

"Yeah...hey, and maybe if we passed on that idea, he might even start paying us for once." He suggested with a chuckle. By now his sister was giggling as she carried on the joke.

"Yeah." Mabel snickered. "That might really work out. We could even get Twoey to eat people we don't like."

"I think I'm gonna put in my vote for this plan." However, no sooner had Dipper tried to chime on this particularly dark turn in their tiny grisly humor spiel when his mind actually upon a good candidate for plant fodder with all too much ease.

"...Robbie." he suggested to himself without even thinking, and couldn't help but let the faintest trace of a smile slink its way onto his face as he actively pondered the thought. However, he wasn't the only one whose rest-deprived brain was temporarily all-too receptive to fantasies of revenge.

"...Pacifica." Mabel muttered almost a little longingly to herself, and an uncharacteristically mischievous giggle snuck out as she shut her eyes and briefly toyed with the tempting thought. In almost near-unison though, the two snapped out of it, and passed one another wide-eye stares of disconcerted disbelief. It was no absolutely official; they were in no condition to properly handle the situation. Otherwise, there was no explaining how murder suddenly become not only a legitimate option, but a preferable one.

"Uh…how about we talk about our _real_ choices?" Dipper suggested as he tried to steer the conversation back to a safer place, though not before lingering on the image of a certain scraggly teenager being turned to lunch for just a few seconds longer.

"Yeah…yeah, sounds good…" she muttered, swaying sleepily on her feet as her brother tried one last time gears of his mind chugging away, but to no avail whatsoever. They were no closer to solving their dilemma, and if anything the volume of Wendy II's begging was on the rise again.

"Are you done yet?" It called. "I"m ready now! Feed me!"

"Okay...okay." Dipper sighed heavily as they turned to face the facts. "We're not going to come up with anything right now, or at least nothing good. So how about we just go feed Twoey the last bag left in the fridge, and…what is it anyway, cow? Chicken blood? Pig?"

"Not pig!" Mabel piped up immediately. "Chicken or cow. Never pig."

"Right, right. Sorry." He grimaced, fighting like mad to remain just a shred of lucidity left. "Let's just get whatever it is, and we'll take care of this tomorrow, okay?"

His twin yawned and nodded wearily before she began to wearily follow him towards the kitchen. Already she was focusing on how warm and comfortable her waiting bed upstairs would be, and managed a sleepy mumble. "We got this. We _totally_ got this."


	7. Chapter 7

"….Captain, we've hit a flakeberg! _Auuggghhh_, we're taking on water! Mayday! Mayday!"

As she narrated, Mabel slowly began to lower the peeled banana into her bowl of cornflakes, making sure to add all manner of sound effects as she found necessary. Dipper meanwhile only smiled around soggy mouthful of cereal as he watched contentedly. After their rather unpleasant night, it was actually quite nice to just relax while his twin on yet another spectacular edition of Breakfast Theatre.

"...And what's that ahead? Spoonami, coming this way! _Noooo_!" She cried out dramatically as she raised her spoon and drove it down, splitting her submerged fruit in half. "We're going down! Lower the lifeboats! _AWOOGA_! _AWOOGA_!"

"For cryin' out loud, can't you get through _one_ meal without turning it into a show?" Her great uncle griped as he sauntered into the kitchen. Mabel put on a brief intermission to grin merrily from ear to ear and vigorously shake her head.

"Nuh-uh!" She cheerily answered.

"Shoulda known." He mumbled ruefully as he rubbed his temples. "Anyways, Soos and I are headin' out now. There's a taxidermist the next town over going out of business, and we're gonna try to pick up a few new attractions for the shack. That means you two little gremlins and Wendy are holding down the fort today. Now you two remember the drill, right?"

"If a bus comes by, bleed 'em dry." The two chanted their uncle's favorite motto correctly if somewhat unenthusiastically in reply, earning them a proud clap on the shoulder each.

"Looks like I'm doin' _something_ right. Okay, I'm outta here." He announced before leaving. Just before they heard the front door slam shut though, they heard him add, "Oh, and can you trim that thing in the shop, or something? For Pete's sake, it gets any bigger and I'm gonna have to cut a hole in the roof."

To Stan, it was really nothing major. As far as he was concerned, he had far bigger fish to fry that day. However, had he turned around and marched back into the kitchen, he might have changed his opinion quite quickly were he to gaze upon the looks of pure alarm that the twins silently sported.

"Cut a...in the _roof_?" Dipper repeated uneasily.

"Towey isn't….it's not that _big_…" Mabel protested weakly. A moment later their breakfast was sitting alone and uneaten at an empty table as they dashed through the shack, and after a mad dash they skidded to a clumsy halt into the gift shop, where they both were treated to a sight they didn't know whether to describe as astonishing or heart attack-inducing.

"Breakfast time!" Wendy II announced happily before flashing them a toothy grin. The twins' jaws popped agape and nearly punched two indents in the floor. As either could remember, it didn't have so much as a molar the last time they saw it in the wee hours of the morning. Now however it sported an unmistakable and absolutely massive set of shining, almost dagger-like fangs. Each one glinted brightly as it salivated hungrily, and suffice to say, it was not what the twins had wanted to encounter. As if this wasn't alarming enough, the appearance of a brand new set of choppers was also coupled with the other fact that Wendy II now stood several yards tall, with possessed a bulging head the size of a small black bear.

"Y...You…uh…you put on a couple of inches there." Dipper remarked before forcing out a nervous laugh. Mabel just gazed dumbstruck at the incredible change her "Twoey" had undergone. Suddenly she didn't exactly feel like showering the same amount of hugs and affection that she had lavished on it just yesterday.

"What are you waiting for? _Feed_ me!" It raised its head and smacked it impatiently against the ceiling, making it clear it was in little mood for small talk. "Didn't you hear me?"

"Um...first things first, how did you get so-" Dipper's question-and-answer session was brought to an abrupt end when Wendy II gave out a small roar of mad impatience.

"No waiting! I said I'm hungry, and you're going to take care of it!" It snarled, acting much more aggressively in accordance with its hulking size. "So are you going to just let me starve a little more like you've been doing all week, or are you going to do your job and get me some grub?"

It was amazing how quickly one's ability to lie could improve when given the right incentive, such as when enormous sentient plant was angrily and incessantly demanding more blood to drink. After gathering every last shred of composure she could muster, Mabel put on the sweetest smile that she could as she tried to answer as calmly as possible, "….Sure, no problem! We just…uh….we just need to go and get the cow blood…which we _totally_ have…somewhere…that's not in this room."

"Uh, right! Yeah! Just give us a couple minutes and we'll…" Dipper passed his twin one look, and before he even finished his own flimsy fib, the two whirled about and sprinted out.

"Hurry! Make it quick! _QUIIIIIICK_!" Wendy II's hungry squawk rang in their ears as they bolted upstairs and into the relative refuge of their room.

As they slammed their door shut and took a moment to catch their breaths, a small pot-bellied pig looked up from where he had been napping and oinked sweetly.

"Waddles! What are you doing out here?" Utterly panic-stricken, Mabel darted over, hastily ripped the sheets from her bed and hurled them over her very confused pet. "Lying out in the open? Why don't you just put an apple in your mouth and climb into an oven while you're at it?"

"Oh, _now_ you're worried?" Dipper snapped as he gasped for air. "What ever happened to loving sweet little lonely Twoey? Huh?"

"I know, I know!" She admitted unhappily, not even being up the slightest resistance as she tucked Waddles securely out of sight. "That was all before Twey turned into a hungry stupid fang-monster!"

"Yeah….I don't think either of us thought this one out well." Her brother quickly owned up ruefully with a groan as he took once look at the Band-Aids still lining his fingers. To say the least, he had done his own fair share of enabling.

"So, now what? We have a crazy psycho toothbeast downstairs, it's enormous, super-hungry, and we don't have anything to give it." After Mabel listed out the unfortunate facts of their dilemma, she flopped on the floor and began frantically petting the befuddled lump buried beneath her bed covers.

Dipper shook his head as he started to pace about nervously. Everything had gone from slightly inconvenient to flat-out dangerous so fast that his head was spinning a bit. "I don't know! I don't even get what happened. How did it get so big in just a couple of hours? I just...I don't get..."

Nearly overwhelmed with almost agonizing bewilderment, the boy reached beneath his pillow and tugged out the familiar old tome. His fingers temporarily became miniature blurs as he flipped through the yellow pages, looking desperately for a modicum of anything that could help them.

"C'mon….c'mon…." He murmured frantically. "There has got to be something in here. There has to be."

"A-anything?" Mabel whimpered while grasping on to the smallest bit of hope she could.

"No! Nothing! Of _course_! This book is no help right now!" He vented furiously before jabbing a finger at a random entry. "I've gone through this section a million times, and...and...well just look at this! 'The sneezylion - this species is native solely to the Gravity Falls area is the only known plant that is allergic to its own pollen.' Okay, now why does _that_ get two whole pages, and meanwhile there is literally nothing on giant bloodsucking monster plants? How does that even happen?"

"Well that's the stupidest thing ever!" Mabel spat frustratedly. "Wendy II is so different, too! Nothing else that grows here talks, or eats the same stuff it does or...or is like it at _all_!

Dipper froze as something suddenly clicked. After once taking just a minimal amount of time to absorb this realization, in a flash he was skipping over to the book's unofficial creature compendium.

"Wait...wait...Mabel, that's it. That's Maybe there's nothing in the plant section about it..." Moving quickly, Dipper flipped to the unofficial creature compendium. "Because it wasn't treated like a plant at all! Let me just...oh...oh no."

After watching her brother go from anxious, to jubilant and then to utterly horrorstruck in a matter of seconds, Mabel leapt to her feet to peer over his should. There before them was a hand-drawn illustration that could've been a portrait of Wendy II. Unfortunately, what was written alongside the picture had quite an unusually large number of few bolded and underlined words, all of which seemed to clearly signal that they weren't exactly dealing with one of Gravity Fall's most pleasant denizens.

"I have much time contemplating this, and have decided that despite its appearance, the plant that I have dubbed "the Carniflower" should not be classified with the rest of the mysterious flora of Gravity Falls. Its power to move, ability for speech, and most importantly, its lust for the blood and flesh of others makes it more animal than plant, if one even wishes to be merciful enough to consider this absolute atrocity of nature to be the equal of any other living creature.

I refuse to give any more information, save for this warning. If you are ever encounter one of these abominations, I implored you wholeheartedly destroy it. It should not been given the slightest opportunity to grow and flourish, for letting it do so only gives it more potential to kill and feast. Do not believe its pleas and lies; letting it get its horrifying nourishment every once is enough to seal your own eventual doom."

Mabel gulped hard as she began silently counting how many times they had fed, and she only needed to get to two before getting the almost sickening feeling that perhaps they had made a mistake. Meanwhile, her brother read on.

"With a power to grow at a pace like none other if properly fed, it it an absolute menace to all, and it is only through pure luck does it happen to be so rare. Despite what it might say, it knows no empathy. All others are merely more than potential fodder for its endless hunger. Please, if you ever have the misfortune of finding one, I implore that you destroy it as fast as you can by any and all means. Destroy it. Destroy it. Destroy it as quickly as possible. Destroy it. Destroy..."

His voice quaking, Dipper stopped looked up at his absolutely mortified sister. "Uh...it just kinda goes on like this for a while...like, another paragraph, at least."

"...Okay, now Wendy II _really_ isn't all that fun anymore." Mabel declared.

"Yeah, that's...that's really straightforward." He stated the horrifyingly obvious. The hairs on the back of his neck now sticking straight up at the thought thinking about the officially classified monstrosity that was sitting downstairs in their home. His equally panicked twin already began wracking her brain

"So...so how do we stop this? It's...it's inside! It's in the shack, Dipper! It's downstairs, and we gotta-" She was cut off when her brother started to gesture for her to try to calm down a bit.

"Look, we got this. As long as we keep it away from other people, we should be fine. So it looks like for now, the Mystery Shack's going to be closed for the day." He declared definitively. "_No one_ comes in, so _no one_ gets hurt. Okay?"

Despite his best attempts to soothe his twin's shattered nerves, she looked just as anxious and fearful as ever, and a moment later an all too simple question from her revealed why. "...Isn't...isn't Wendy coming in today?"

"Oh-" The indescribably horrified boy only got out one syllable before a startled shriek rattled their eardrums. The twins gazed horrorstruck at each other before they were off, sprinting as fast as their legs could carry them.


	8. Chapter 8

Wendy had barely walked into the shop before everything had gone pitch black. Now surrounded by a strange force that now shrouded her vision and kept her arms pinned tightly to her sides, all the horror stricken girl could do was wiggle helplessly mad and let out scream after muffled scream inside her damp nightmare of a prison.

Outside the tightly clamped lips of the abomination that shared her name, she still kicked furiously, but it was of little use. Wendy II calmly and steadily slurped her down bit by bit as if the terrified teenager was little more than a gigantic shrieking piece of spaghetti.

Just before it decided that maybe a little bit of chewing was finally in order, the breathless twins burst upon the scene. The pair needed only a moment to get a grasp of the situation and swing into action, and without a word each one almost automatically grabbed a leg each, and with their combined strength they gave a joint desperate yank.

They had arrived and acted with such speed, the feeding monster was caught completely by surprise. With a massive wet pop, the teenager slipped free, and together she and the assembled Pines all collapsed upon the floor in a heap.

"It's okay! We gotcha! We gotcha!" Dipper yelled, his voice breaking with almost every other word as he hooked his arms beneath his crush's and started to desperately pull. Where on earth her scrawny twin brother dug up such strength, Mabel hadn't the faintest clue. However, she couldn't deny that he was now successfully pulling their friend to safety almost completely on his own.

"Wha…." Wendy moaned as she struggled to recover. "What's going on? Wh-"

To say the least, she didn't exactly like her answer. The teenager got her first good look at the insatiable nightmare, which had now tossed back its head and was letting loose with a bloodcurdling roar of such rage that it shook the shack's very rafters. Not surprisingly, that was all it took to snap her back to her senses as untold terror started coursing through every ounce of her body. Wendy automatically wrenched hold of each twin by the collar and clumsily scooted back, dragging the two along with her to safety as she sputtered frenziedly all the while.

"What _is_ that? What….is that….is th-that the _plant_?" She hollered hoarsely. "Is that the plant? Guys, what _happened_ to it?!"

"Overfeeding!" Dipper answered truthfully. After a bit of clumsy effort they finally got her to her feet, and together they took cover behind a rack of overpriced t-shirts.

"Overfeeding it with **_what_**?" The badly shaken redhead demanded as she braved a peek. "Evil?"

"Uh….close, actually." The boy replied hesitantly before another earsplitting howl rocked both the shack and their eardrums.

"Little pests!" Wendy II reared its head and spat venomously at them. "Ruin my feeding, will you?"

"T-Twoey!" Despite her best efforts, Mabel couldn't hide the quake in her voice for the life of her. Nevertheless, she still wagged a shaking finger and tried a last-ditch attempt at chiding the beast. "Bad! That's a bad, b_ad_ Twoey! We do _not_ eat friends! You _wait_ for meal time! No!"

"Oooh, Mabel, what's wrong?" Even when it smiled, it sent chills down their spines as it spoke in a tauntingly sweet tone. "Don't you want to help little hungry me? Pleeease? Your little Twoey?"

Mabel scowled darkly. She was not one for taking things lightly when her trust was betrayed. "Now I'd rather go hug a cactus then help a big poop like _you_!"

This immediately earned her a ferocious snarl as it reared up. "Fine then! I don't need the charity of you fools any more. I'm done with you, for now I can eat what I like, and whenever I please!"

"Oh…oh yeah?" Dipper called back in an attempt to call it out on its vicious threat. "Well, _you're_ one to talk! Hard to get anywhere without any legs!"

"Yeah! Take that, Mister Evil-No-Feet!" Mabel taunted. "How are you going to even get us? You're over there in your stupid pot, and we're here, so _nyah_!"

"It's….it's talking." Their teenage friend babbled incredulously. Wendy's head was absolutely spinning as she struggled to make an iota of sense of it all. "Why is the plant _talking_? Guys? A little help here?"

The living nightmare smiled almost pityingly at the defiant little group. "Oh, I have my ways…"

It let out a shrill cry, and suddenly several massive vines burst from its stalky body. Long, green and snakelike, each one seemed to possess a mind of its own as they began to quickly stretch and spread about, each one seeking and reaching for prey to help quell its near-insatiable appetite.

"Really? _Really_ now?!" Dipper yelled in frustration as one attempted to nab him by the arm, and with a clumsy jump he barely dodged out of reach. "Oh, of _course_!"

"Grabby thingies! It's got grabby thingies!" Mabel gave out a terrified yelp as she tried to bat one away. "No, I am _not_ a snack!"

Wendy swung to the rescue, hoisting a leg high and bring down the heel of her heavy boot with all the force she could possibly could. Their foe filled the room with a howl of agony, giving them a badly needed moment's delay.

"The living room! _Now_!" Dipper shouted, and together the little group made a desperate stampede to safety. Just before they made it, Mabel let out a panicked yelp as something clapped tightly over her ankle and immediately started to pull.

"_AAAUUGH_! Grabby thingy on my leg! GRABBY THINGY! ON MY _LEG_ No! Nononono! Leggo!" She screamed, fingers scrabbling against the floor. Untold horror coursed through her as she struggled to keep from getting yanked away to an early demise. "_HELLLP_!"

Dipper clasped her arm and pulled with what might his underdeveloped muscles could muster. Wendy of course came up with a better idea, and planted a foot on each side of the door frame as she snatched Mabel by the other arm and anchored herself in place. With a grunt, the teen gave it everything she had, and immediately she could feel her strained muscles begin to groan loudly in fierce protest.

"Hold on...hold on..." She gasped through tightly gritted teeth.

"Don't let go!" Dipper gasped. He could feel his frantic sister's fingernails dig deep into his skin as she held on for dear life.

"I'm not a snack...not a snack..._not_ a snack..." Mabel whimpered repeatedly to herself as she gazed back, wide-eyed and helplessly.

"Nuh-uh-uh!" Wendy II just tittered fiendishly at their frantic but ultimately useless efforts. It wrapped another vine about her waist, and tugged almost lazily. The little brunette let out a shriek of dispair as she was torn away.

"Dear sweet Mabel...I wonder if that's how you taste, too?" The beast mused mockingly aloud as dragged the flailing preteen towards its waiting and eager jaws.

"_MABEL_!" Dipper didn't even pause for so much as a moment. Automatically he was bounding back into the shop, driven by almost blind determination to save his twin.

"Dipper, _wait_!" Wendy called out. "What are you doing?!"

"I don't know yet, but it's probably pretty stupid!" He yelled back before swinging into action. As the boy sprinted headlong towards the monster, he glanced about wildly for anything possible improvised weapon. Laying eyes on a shelf of snow globes, he grabbed one in each hand and with a grunt he threw them at the hulking bulbous head. Wendy II roared in pain as the makeshift missiles scored direct hits, exploding into a burst of plastic shards and cheap white flakes.

"Hey, Salad-Brain! You want my sister?" He hollered in the most menacing voice he could while he tried to rearm. "Okay then, but you're going to have to go through _me_ first!"

Smarting from its injury, the plant-beast snarled simply in reply, "_That_ can be arranged."

Almost carelessly it tossed Mabel aside, discarding the startled girl like a piece of trash. With a yelp she landed on the floor, distracting her brother for one crucial moment. In a flash, it suddenly felt like the air was being pried from his lungs as a hefty vine shot out and wrapped about his skinny figure, securing his arms tight against his sides.

"...I did _not_ think this one out." The boy managed to gasp as with one swift yank he found himself dangled high above the massive greedy gullet.

"Bottom's up!" The foul creature grunted, and before he could cry out, Dipper was suddenly gone from sight as massive jaws clamped tightly over him.

Mabel let out a heartrending shriek as she watched the living nightmare consume her brother whole. "NO!"

"_DIPPERRRRR_!" Wendy cried out, nearly straining her voice in one horrified burst.

Wendy II tried to let out a muffled cackle, reveling in its victory. However, its jubilant laughter was cut short when it started swirl the contents in its mouth about a little more thoroughly. There was a pause, and then the creature's entire body coiled up in unmistakable agony. It trembled uncontrollably in revulsion and despite its best efforts to keep its food down, it was no use. A near-deafening hack cough filled the room as it gagged up its attempted meal.

Dipper landed on the floor in a dazed, slippery mess, and in a flash Wendy was at his side. Meanwhile the flesh-craving plant bellowed to the high heavens in utter disgust the likes of which it had never encountered in its admittedly short life. "_Yeecchh_! So...so...so _sweaty_! It's like...ugh, light trying to eat an armpit!"

"Well then how about trying to wash him down with some of this!" Came the valiant reply as Mabel bounded to the fore. The instant her twin had been vomited up, she seized upon the opportunity, casting her gaze about wildly for the most lethal thing she could find. Finally she raced over to the counter, snatched up the battered pot sitting there, and dashed back towards Wendy II, where she struck the closest thing she could to a heroic pose.

"I'd rather have another go at y-" Wendy II didn't get much further with its threat when the girl reached into a sweater pocket and dug out a small handful of glitter, which she then tossed like a shiny grenade. The little clump exploded in a dazzling burst, and as sparkly bits clung ferociously to the inside of her startled foe's mouth, Mabel cried out at the top of her lungs,

"Time for a coffee break!"

"...Coffee break?" Wendy couldn't help but repeat curiously from a safer distance.

"It sounded a lot better in my head! _YAAAH_!" Mabel snapped back unrepentantly before she hurled the pitch-black, almost sludgy liquid contents into the monstrosity's gaping maw.

"_AAAAUUUUGGGGHHH_! It burns! It _burns_!" Wendy II barely managed to scream before Stan's home recipe brew began to wreck painful havoc from the inside out. Its body and snaking vines flailed about, knocking over merchandise and shelves all around as it thrashed in violent death-throws. It continued to howl and roar, but each cry came out a little weaker, and a little more hoarse than the last. In a matter of seconds, its powerful green appendages began to brown and turn brittle, as did the rest of its hulking frame. Rapidly it withered and wilted before everyone's very eyes before finally, with one last whimper, its fang-overloaded head tumbled to the floor with a lifeless thud. A heavy silence settled upon the room, and all that could be heard was a ragged symphony of gasping breaths and pounding hearts.

"Total domination!" Mabel cheered jubilantly,and soundly shattered the quiet. "Take that, you ...oh, _wait_! Right, I have a brother!"

Remembering her twin's brush with death only a minute before, she bolted over to where Dipper lay motionless on the floor, soaked from head to toe in a thick, filmy layer of warm saliva.

"Is he okay? Is he?" She asked. Wendy shrugged as she propped his head up onto her lap

"I don't know!" she admitted frustratedly as she pat him gently on the cheek. "Dip? Buddy, you still with us?"

Each second that ticked by felt like an eon of agony for the two as they both waited nervously with bated breath. Suddenly, a sign of life; after a weak stir, Dipper's eyes fluttered halfway open, and as he gazed dazedly into empty space, the stirring boy managed to murmur softly,

"...W-why don't _any_ Wendys like me?"

Mercifully, his worry-stricken friend didn't hear him clearly, and as she managed a smile of relief, Wendy chuckled weakly "What'd you say?"

"_Ackpth_! I….um…." In a flash he was awake, sitting upright and sweating up a nervous storm. "Uh…I mean...where am I? What happened? These are definitely the first words that I'm saying!"

"_DIPPER_!" Disregarding the veritable slime that drenched him, in an instant Mabel had hurled her arms around him in a tight bone-bruising squeeze of joy

"You were right; that was _so_ stupid." Wendy laughed as she patted him heartily on the back.

"I warned you, didn't I?" He tried to joke before wincing uncontrollably. In her joy, Mabel was now lovingly but inadvertently squeezing him with the force of a full-grown boa constrictor.

"You broke the rule, you butt...no being a meal for anyone." She whispered, hardly able to contain herself in her relief. After a bit of a struggle one arm loose and wrapped it about her in a shared sibling embrace, which of course they remembered to top off with its essential component.

"Pat, pat." Each one chanted before breaking their hold. Utterly drained and exhausted from the epic battle, the little group took a few moments to take the most direly needed breather of their lives as they all reveled in their hard-won victory.

"I'm going to take the lack of screaming in here as a sign that someone is done for." Dipper remarked as he looked about the messy aftermath.

"And then some." Wendy nodded at the partially withered mess lying piled in a heap. "I still have only half an idea of what the heck just happened, but whatever the heck that thing was, I am so glad it's gone."

"Good riddance." He declared, kicking at a nearby vine.

As they all burst out into grateful laughter, none of the trio noticed that said vine happened to remain surprisingly green and healthy-looking in comparison to its dead and browned brothers. This of course changed when it suddenly shot off the floor, and with lightening speed wrapped itself tightly around Dipper's throat.

"GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GE-_AAAACCCCKKK_!"

Soon the room was filling fast with the boy's frantic gagging screams. With a hoarse cry Wendy wedged her hands forcefully into the shred of space that remained between her friend's neck and the strangling vine, and in a matter of moments she was the only thing keeping Dipper from getting choked right there on the spot.

Mabel glanced about for a new weapon, but alas, the coffee pot whose contents had saved them just minutes before was completely empty. Out of ideas and low on time, the preteen girl grabbed hold of the vine, and without a second thought she slammed her brace-covered teeth down with all the force she could muster. With strength borne of desperation, the metal-loaded bite tore through plant matter like wet tissue paper, cutting it cleanly into three separate chunks.

Sliced to bits, the murderous vine collapsed limply into several lifeless bits. Wendy finally wrestled the end free from Dipper's bruised throat as the boy let out a heavy gasp. Mabel meanwhile spat out the foul mess in her mouth, and started to furiously wipe her tongue against a knitted sleeve to try to rid herself of the bitter taste. All of them heaved for breath, as their hearts thudded so heavily in their chests that together they nearly formed a tiny percussion band.

" S-still okay?" Wendy asked shakily, helping him sit back upright. Trembling uncontrollably from head to toe, the boy's voice cracked uncontrollably as he gazed upon the hulking heap of dead vegetation.

"Fire."

Mabel nodded furiously in agreement. "All the fire."

Completely on the same page, the lanky redhead pat her friend on the shoulder before scrambling to her feet and dashing out of the room. "You guys stay here, I think I know where Soos keeps the lighter fluid..."


	9. Epilogue

"...Dipper?" The teenage girl appeared not only uncharacteristically subdued as she approached him, but she looked downright nervous. To say the least, it was quite the stark contrast from the boy in question, who was almost coolness incarnate as he calmly flipped his brim and answered back casually.

"Hmm?"

"I...I..." Wendy's cheeks were already shining with an unmistakable blush as struggled to speak, but despite her efforts she was finding herself horrifically tongue-tied. "I just...well, I..."

Suddenly, she dropped to her knees and hurled her arms tightly around him. Dipper didn't even do so much as flinch as she clasped him close and finally found the courage to speak. "Oh Dipper,you were...you were so...so...so _brave_ to take on the monster like that!"

"Oh, what? _That_ ol' thing yesterday?" He just smiled and shrugged faux-coyly at the adoring girl. "It was nothing, really. Just doin' what I had to do."

"Yeah, well ...sometimes, even nothing deserves a reward every now and then..." She giggled, leaning in as she gently puckered her lips...and then gave his cheek a good, long lick.

"_Huh!_?" he sputtered, as the teenager then started to snort directly into his face. It about then that the cliche-ridden daydream not only ground to a halt, but it came crashing down around him in a spectacular flaming heap. Dipper quickly back to a reality if anything, was worse than his trainwreck of a fantasy; there on the counter stood curious and overly-affectionate swine, who was busilly licking away at his nose and cheeks.

"Oh, _gross_! Bad pig! _Bad_ pig!" Dipper scolded, tearing away from Waddles. "_Bad_! No! Ugh, how'd you even get up here anyway?"

The boy wiped his face furiously, while nearby his sister shook uncontrollably from shrilllaughter.

"At least buy him some flowers first! He's not _that_ kinda pig." She managed to tease before another wave of giggles temporarily incapacitated her, delivering another blow to her brother's already badly damaged ego.

"Why don't you find another killer plant to live with us?" He fired back ruefully. The remark however didn't ruffle her in the slightest.

"Nah, I'm good with what I have for now." She declared contently, making sure to give Waddles a loving scratch behind the ears before lifting him up and settling him down onto the floor. "He's not gonna make me a meal anytime soon. And Franny won't, either!"

"Franny?" Dipper repeated, not recognizing the name. Mabel giggled, reached beneath the counter and pulled out her newest creation for her twin to behold; a small fern placed snugly inside a former coffee can-turned flower pot. Considering that they had nearly been mincemeat just twenty-four hours before, he had to admit it was a marked improvement, if not still completely normal thanks to the large pair of googly eyes she had glued to one of its leaves.

"Neat, right?" The adolescent girl beamed proudly. "She won't whine or bite or _anything_, and I'm gonna put her right up in the attic. Whatcha think?"

"I dunno..." Dipper pretended to look a little disapproving, which momentarily confused her.

"What's wrong? I said that she doesn't bite." She explain.

"No, no it's not that...it's just I think she'd look a lot better...in the Shack Suggestion Box!" He announced as he made his surprise move, snatching it clean out of her hands before pretending to toss it straight into the garbage can. Moments later Mabel was squealing again with laughter as the two became locked in fierce playful battle.

As they horsed about by the register, the great uncle strolled by, jabbing a finger at various paraphernalia while his sulky teenage employee followed in tow.

"...Mark up that also...these jackets could be a couple bucks higher...hey, and didn't I already tell you to take care of these caps yesterday? Wendy, _look_! Fifteen dollars apiece? What are we, running a charity here?" Stan scolded.

Wendy murmured something darkly under her breath and made a face. However, as soon as the old man glanced behind him she sprang a smidgeon more at attention and added a few more zeros to several nearby price tags.

"That's more like it. Also, you can move the post cards back near the cash register, where that plant was. Eeesh, kind of a shame to see it gone, just when I finally thought I had a brand new exhibit. How did you kids manage to overwater something _that_ big, anyway?"

Not expecting to get called out on their cover-up, the twins looked to one another, and then met the mildly panicked gaze of Wendy. For a few seconds all were silent as statues they silently strove to come up with a remotely suitable response.

"...With a _really_ big watering can." Mabel finally replied with a perky smile. To all their relief, Stan seemed to be satisfied by the almost ludicrously simple answer.

"Yeah, guess that happens sometimes. Shouldn't be getting my boxers in a knot over a whole lot of nothin', anyways. We made out pretty well yesterday, so we should be set for a loooooong time.."

With this he headed out, though not without issuing some final orders. "You guys man things down here, and let me know if any buses rolls in. Got it? Soos, c'mon! Those chicken wings and stuffed squirrels aren't gonna glue themselves together."

"Right away, Mr. Pines!" The portly assistant piped up. His arms were nearly overflowing with a load of several assorted taxidermy animals as he obediently he followed his boss out of sight, though not without taking time to call out, "See ya later, dudes!"

"See ya!" Mabel waved enthusiastically as if they were going off on a monthlong vacation. Wendy meanwhile took her customary place up on the rickety stool behind counter.

"I think we're done gouging for now at least." She joked as she lifted her feet up on the counter and stowed the marker aside.

"Yeah...good one..." Dipper instinctively stammered out with an overly forced chuckle. As she grinned back in reply, the already mildly embarrassed boy cleared his throat and finally asked, "So how you holding up?"

"Hmm?" She grunted, throwing him for a minor loop. Dipper cleared his throat and mentally cursed the fact that he was about as smooth as chunky peanut butter; what he wouldn't give for real life to resemble his terribly scripted fantasies even in the very slightest.

"I mean, after yesterday, when...y'know..."

The teen shrugged, her smile spreading a little wider. "All right. I mean, I'm still here, aren't I?"

"That's...that's true." He murmured the obvious. As he struggled with the awkward small talk as usual, Mabel passed a glance to "Franny" and giggled.

"A bowl of popcorn would go really well with this show." She teased, earning her quick but very dirty look from him.

"You guys have a knack for making things a little more interesting around here. Hey, livens things up though, right? Oooh, and that reminds me..."

"What-" The boy went silent as a statue as the teenager leaned over without warning to give him a very quick one-armed hug. Although it lasted for little more than a moment, to Dipper it was almost an eternity of bliss until she broke it off.

"Almost forgot - thanks for the save yesterday." She said warmly, before leaning over to give Mabel an appreciative high-five.

"Anytime!" The little girl whooped as she eagerly returned the slap.

"...No...n-no problem at...all." Dipper barely managed to mutter, somewhat in a daze.

"Well, I appreciate not becoming anything's breakfast." She then added teasingly, "And on the plus side, no one had to do a Lamby-Dance either."

"And good-bye to my self-esteem for the day." Dipper planted his forehead onto the counter in joking despair as the chortling teen give him an affectionate shove.

"Well, looks likes I've got another action-packed shift as usual." She remarked as she looked around the veritably dead room. "You guys have anything planned for today?"

"Yeah we do! A Pine-Ball match scheduled for this afternoon." Mabel announced excitedly. "Round three of the Mystery Shack playoffs!"

"Pine Ball?" The teen smirked and shook her head. "That's not that weird sport you guys play all the time where you just hit the ball and yell at each other for like an hour, is it?"

"Yes. Yes it is." Dipper answered back unabashedly with a smile, earning him a thumbs-up.

"Awesome."

"Yeah. Wish you weren't stuck in here." He blurted out, earning him a teasing nudge from his twin. Thankfully what tiny shred of dignity had had left remained intact, for the teenage actually became a bit thoughtful upon hearing this.

"Well..." The corners of Wendy's lips slowly curled into a mischievous smirk. "You're right, I do have work..."

She flashed the twins a wink before sauntering over to the door, where she carelessly flipped over the large sign mounted upon the front window.

"_What_? Uh oh, looks like we closed early for the day!" She exclaimed in mock disappointment, and clapped her hands to the sides of her face. Oh no!"

"Yeah! We're closed now, because...uh..." Eager to get it on the fun, Mabel fished some dirt out of "Franny's" can and sprinkled it onto the floor. "Freak landslide!"

"Darn it, I hate it when those happen!" Dipper joined along with a phony sigh of frustration. "Now how are we gonna manage?"

"I think I know how we can start." Wendy took a moment to fish about until she found a slightly bent golf club. "How about you guys explain some game rules to me?"

"You want in?" Dipper laughed.

"A third player?" Mabel gasped, eyes wide and shining in profound excitement at the thought of it. "Dare we live out the dream?"

"Yeah we are!" Wendy whooped, pumping an arm up in the air. "Three way match! Three way match! Three way match! Three way match!"

She didn't need to do this for long until she had totally the twins, and after fetching the necessary equipment, the little band practically sprinted outside. Less than ten minutes later, the yard of the Mystery Shack was alive with the sounds of playful insults and wild cries as preteens and redhead dashed about, striking hard at the battered beach ball lest it so much as brushed against the ground.

As they played, not too far away in the shade one of the mighty redwoods, two curious little plants looked oddly out of place as they sprouted from the soil. If their unusual appearance's weren't enough to catch anyone's attention though, then the fact that they were actively whispering to one another in unmistakably English syllables was more than enough to make them stand out from the other native flora.

"It would seem our sibling has failed." One of them hissed softly in disappointment. The other however replied by briefly revealing two rows of tiny needle-sharp fangs as it flashed a confident smile.

"Never fear. The fleshy ones have won the for now, but it's just a matter of time. Our numbers may be few, but our day will come. And when it does, the feasting shall commence, and we will feed like none other!"

Its fellow plant beamed happily as images of bloodied and screaming meals floated through its mind. "Yes, only a delay! Today is theirs, but tomorrow...tomorrow, we feed!"

At this the two erupted into peals of shrill, wispy laughter, celebrating the inevitable grisly triumph the future held for them.

"It takes but one feeding for our victory to begin! Cities shall fall! Countries shall crumble! Absolutely none shall be safe from the jaws of...hey, what the?" One of them muttered confusedly as an odd-looking shadow descended upon them.

"What's wrong?" Barely had the question rolled off its sibling's lips when a loud bleat rent the air, signaling the start of lunch. Not concerned in the slightest that its meal had just been talking, the goat casually lowered its head and chomped down hungrily.

"Hey! _Hey_! Hey, what are you-_AUGH_! Stop that! Let him go! Shoo! Shoo!" The plant burst into frantic protest as it watched its brother get scooped up in one greedy mouthful. Alas, his protests fell on unforgiving ears. The goat calmly scarfed it all down, ignoring the muffled screams emanating from its mouth as it rested its beady yellow eyes on the horrified survivor.

Once it became clear what was going to be dessert, the plant simply rested its head on top of one of its leaves and just huffed grumpily.

"...Well, _nuts_."

**The End**

* * *

**Many thanks to everyone who read and reviewed! I hope you enjoyed it as much I enjoyed writing this. ****If you'd like to see any more, drop a line and I'll be happy to try and supply another story or two. Again, thanks a bunch! **


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